In pursuit of Happiness - My Ten Commandments

1.  Be myself

2.  Don't sweat the small stuff

3.  Laugh more

4.  Don't put off until tomorrow what I can do today

5.  Treat others as I would like them to treat me

6. Be prepared to make an effort and to put in the hard work

7.  Find three things to be thankful for every day

8.  Quit worrying - it doesn't help

9.  Waste less time

10.  Live life to the full but keep my eyes on eternity!

Ten Random Facts about me!

1.  At the age of 13,  I was the first female Army Cadet to join C Company in Sussex

2.   I have a phobia of wasps and Bees and during the summer months anything else that buzzes (flies, lawn mowers etc!)

3. When I was younger I used to keep a scrapbook of pictures of princess Diana.  These days I love to read about Prince William and Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge.

4.   My favourite ice cream flavour is Rum and Raisin

5.   I love freesias, hyacinths, roses and in particular pink flowers but especially star gazer lillies (the smell of which reminds me of my brother's wedding).  And just so you know I buck the trend because at my funeral I don't want anyone donating money to charity  - I want flowers and lots of them - its all about me!!

6.  If I hadn't followed the career I have I think I would have liked to have been a paramedic or a maxilio facial surgeon.

7.  My five favourite charities are:
World Vision
The Smile Train
Christian Aid
The NSPCC
Oxfam

8.   If money was no object I would like to go White Water rafting in Canada or on a Carribean cruise.

9.  If I could solve one problem it would be to bring an end to children living on the streets in places like India

10.  If I could be really good at anything I'd like to be an Olympic ice dancer or a gymnast and I'd love to be able to sing (in public and in tune).

Reminiscing

I finally came home Thursday night (a week after my operation) yippee.  It's nice to be back in my own home although my parents have made absolutely excellent carers during my first week of recovery and while I have been feeling too sick and tired to do anything.  But now it is time to try and start getting back on my feet a little to speed up the healing process.

Came home to a beautiful bouquet of lillies from David.  He bought them last Thursday thinking I would be home that same day but they have lasted really well and still look very fresh.

We got home quite late in the evening so really there was only time to unpack, put a few things away and then go to bed.

I was worried about how we would manage to share a bed without David accidentally kicking my bad leg  as he does have a tendency to take over the entire bed but he was really good and made a conscious effort to give me lots of space.  I didn't sleep well though as my mind didn't seem to want to shut down.

I rather randomly started thinking about sugar mice and how exorbitantly expensive they are these days.  I can't remember the last time I had one, or even why I liked them but the yellow ones have always been my favourites and I decided that irrespective of how much they cost, the next time I see one I intend to treat myself to one.

From that thought I then starting remembering lots of little things that made me happy as a child:

Cherry Pop

Twinkle comic for girls

Making mud pies in the hollow of an old tree

Turning a stick and some pink toilet paper into a fairy wand

Playing 'Release' and doing drama and crafts at summer camp with my summer camp friends Katherine Dantanus and Henry French

Watching cartoons such as Willow the Wisp; Mr Ben; Mighty Mouse and Captain Caveman

TV programmes such as the A Team, Knight Rider and McGuiver

Falling asleep to the sound of my cassette of Richard Clayderman playing piano

Cooked full English Sunday Breakfast with my parents and brother listening to the same music every week.

Easter and Christmas visits from our very good family friend Peter.  Going round the house before he arrived and tilting all the pictures and mirrors to drive him mad.  Listening to Peter playing the 'dinner's late' blues or whatever was the theme for the day.  Kangaroo jumping in the car and firing air pistols at tin cans in the garden.  Going to the Marina and getting drenched by waves.  Laughing lots.

Playing spud guns with my brother Luke and my cousin Stephen

My collection of Care Bears especially my favourite Tenderheart bear

My doll Susie with the burnt thumb from where she got too close to the fire.

Cuddles the pink rabbit my parents gave me that played Twinkle Twinkle little Star when you pressed his red 'I Love You' heart

Sleeping in the cupboard or the kitchen at Grandma's house and playing with the green tree house toy

All the ladybirds in Nannan's garden and the fake brandy glass with fake brandy inside

Feeding all the kittens outside Granny's back door

Eating delicious Burmese Beef and Potato curry and Tarka Dahl cooked by grandpa Roy

Playing with my best friend Lorna and making camp in the coal bunker or the loft

Picking wild blackberries and eating them

The thrill of playing kiss chase and the disappointing fact that even when I wanted to be kissed I couldn't help being too fast to be caught.

Learning to play the piano, flugel horn, tenor horn and Euphonium

Asking to join the school choir and being told not to sing but that I could play the glockenspiel

Playing the role of one of the shepherds in the school nativity (I desperately wanted to be an angel with a tinsel halo)

Building snowmen, snowball flights and sledging with our Cairn Terrier Kim

our beautiful sibling silver blue Corat cats Louise (who only answered to the call Whoosh Whoosh) and her brother Mochka (who was too dumb to answer to anything)

My first hamster Mandy

My black guinea pig Sooty and my grey lop eared rabbit Sweep

Collecting star wars stickers for my albumn and pretty glittery stickers for swaps

Playing with a tennis ball against the school wall

Bexhill Music camp week and playing slap and other games (when not rehearsing) with my friends Rachel, Andrew and co.

Staying up late and chatting with my friend Graeme at Music camp.

My crush on Simon Wiczling when I was eight and his adorably cute blonde four year old brother 'Sebastian'

My first holiday abroad to Tennerife when I was five

Collecting conkers and acorns in the autumn

Gathering snails and making homes for them

Joining the Army cadets at the age of 13 and being the first (and for six months the only) girl in C Company Sussex.  Me and 450 boys!

48 hour exercises and 24 hour ration packs, biscuits squashed fly and exploding orange drink powder, cam cream and ambushes, firing rifles and learning Campcraft,

My Saturday job at Sally Store's sweet shop and spending my four hours deciding what sweets to spend my wages on (£1.40 an hour when I first started which increased to £1.65 when I was experienced enough to be left on my own!)

1/4 lb of Rhubarb and custard, Kola Cubes or Cough Candy Twists

Wham bars

5p crisps

Walking round school at break-time with best friend Polly 'putting the world to rights'

Summer days spent on the beach eating milky bar with Polly and dancing in the cinema aisles

Johnny Depp in 21 Jump Street

Singing with my friends on Gold Duke of Edinburgh expedition hikes.

Oh happy days!!

Belated Resolutions

With the impending knee operation I didn't make any New Years resolutions.  Actually I don't really like New Years resolutions - simply because I have never been able to keep any.  If you are anything like me New Year's resolutions don't work and that's usually because I tend to make resolutions for self improvement that are hard to stick to and which I feel I ought to do but don't really want to.  Like lose weight or go to the gym.

This year my resolutions are simply to get more sleep and to have more fun.  Can't wait to get started!

Life is short and I intend to start living it to the full - like there ain't no tomorrow!  And no Seb that does not mean that we don't have to do revision and homework any more.

I just want to introduce, make time for, plan in and actually have . .  a lot more fun.


So a few ideas for fun and enjoyable activities I'd like to try and weave into this busy year?

A weekly games night.  One night a week where we don't turn on the TV but play board games or cards together as a family

spending more quality time with David

More crafting and art with Nat

Regular hang-out time with Seb, watching movies, model making or going out!

Sleeping out under the stars

Days at the beach

Picnics and barbeques

Friends over for dinner, drinks and chatting

More regular phone-calls with my friends

Jam and pickle making

Baking

Scrapbooking and crafts

Crochet and knitting (once I learn how)

Family walks and the adventure of discovering new places

A trip to Cornwall to see George

Afternoon tea in the garden with friends

More visits to National Trust properties

Exciting days out

Camping

Doing something worthwhile

De-cluttering the house, loft and garage

Year-long Photography Challenge

I have set myself the challenge of trying to see how many of the following I can photograph and publish over the next twelve months:

• A Sunrise
• A Sunset
• Horses
• The Ocean
• A forest
• A wild open space
• An ice-cream sundae
• Fireworks
• A wise looking tree
• A bird in flight
• A jumping cat
• A sleeping dog
• A celebrity
• A city skyline
• Colourful flowers
• Street art
• A portrait
• A group Portrait
• A busy dance floor
• The Union Jack blowing in the wind
• A breath-taking view
• Dancers
• The contents of my handbag laid out
• A baby animal
• A large crowd
• A flower or plant in the three stages of life, seed, sprout and in full bloom
• A rollercoaster
• A historical landmark
• Moving water
• A kiss
• A home baked cake
• A market stall
• A portrait of a stranger
• A Christmas tree
• A cocktail
• A swimming pool
• A spiders web first thing in the morning
• Clouds
• Someone I love
• Something I love
• A rainbow
• A snowman
• Rain on the window
• Something yellow
• Something blue
• Something green
• Something red
• Something pink
• Something orange
• Something black
• Something white
• Something I really want

Just a bit of fun, all photos have to be taken in 2014.  We'll see by the end of the year how far I got!

Do feel free to join me in this challenge and to let me know how you get on!

Adding insult to injury

Lots more pain today possibly because as the swelling decreases I will apparently feel more movement and discomfort in my knee.  The excess fluid apparently acts as a cushion for a few days and it is normal for me to feel new things happening with my knee as it heals.

Called my GP today to see if she could prescribe something to stop me feeling sick.  She told me the cocktail of drugs I was on was bound to make me feel dreadful and she suggested that I continue to cut out the Tramadol and replace the dihydrocodeine with just codeine and keep up with the paracetamol and ibuprofen.  She is also going to give me some anti nausea meds so hopefully I might start to feel a little more human soon.

Had my first physio appointment today with the lovely Stuart.  He was really nice and very reassuring.  He said I was doing really well but suggested I go to the nurse and get my dressings changed rather than wait another week to see the consultant.  I will definitely have to wear the brace for four weeks and am still not allowed to use my muscles or to bend my knee except to do my passive exercises.  I have to remove my brace and with my leg straight someone has to put their hands around my knee and gently lift my knee to about 30 degrees and lower it again.  Its a little uncomfortable but not too painful and it is good to get the joint moving as my muscles (what little I have of them) will be deteriorating while the leg is out of action.  He said he can't really give me much more to do but suggested I trying moving around the house without the crutches - which I have been doing, and I will see him again in another two weeks at which point he will try and get the knee bending a little bit further.

Its a lovely day today and it was quite nice just to get out of the house.  I opened the window as we drove home and it was lovely having the sunshine and a fresh breeze on my face.

We stopped off at the British Red Cross on the way back to see if we could hire a wheelchair.  I stayed in the car while my parents went in to speak to them.  When they came out my mum was highly amused.  Apparently the Red Cross lady had asked 'How tall is the patient' and she had replied 5'8 / 5'9 (for information I am 5'8) and then she had asked 'and what does the patient weigh?' to which mum had given a fairly accurate estimation of my weight (no I won't share it thank you).  Then to my mum's delight the lady had said something to the effect of 'well when the gentleman has finished using the wheelchair . . .'

Gentleman indeed!  I might not be on the svelte side but really!!

Peg Leg Lolly

Can't get over how washed out I feel.  I didn't wake up until 11.30 but since then the longest I have been able to keep my eyes open is about one hour and that was only because my Father insisted I watch the Bridge.  It is a Swedish serial in subtitles. 

I had watched the first two episodes and my parents are keen to watch the fifth so I need to catch up two episodes.  The only problem is it is quite a strain to watch as reading subtitles does not help the nausea and I can't quite see the bottom of the TV screen as it is hidden behind the arm of the sofa and my foot so I have to sit at quite an awkward angle and hold my neck up in my hands.  By the time I had finished episode three I was exhausted and have slept the rest of the afternoon. 

Moving about is quite tricky.  I am fine once I am on my feet as long as I don't have to walk too far or carry anything but getting my bad leg in and out of bed or on and off the sofa is quite a complicated mission.  I have been practising  the knack of throwing a scarf to loop it under my foot so I can then lift my leg using the scarf to take the weight of my leg.  Not very elegant but it seems to work.  My mother in law Hazel was the one to suggest it and it is nice to be a little more self reliant and not to have to have someone to lift my leg by the ankle every time I stand up or sit down (not that I get up very often).

The knee and leg have been feeling more painful today.  I am hoping that is a good sign that the bone is healing.  There are definite signs of bruising on my leg today which has turned a very attractive shade of yellow / black.  The kneecap also keeps popping a bit today so not sure why that would be but I am going to my first physiotherapy session tomorrow so perhaps they can tell me then.

I really don't know how I ever imagined I would be able to go back to work in this condition.  Even if I could get a lift there I would never be able to sit at a desk and even staying upright for very long is a step too far at the moment. 

Until you have a leg in a brace you just don't realise how awkward and inconvenient it really is.

Beautiful Bouquet of Flowers

My team leaders from work sent me a really beautiful bouquet of flowers.  It contains pink roses and blue hyacinths which smell divine. There are dark purple flowers and pretty stems of pink buds.  It was such a delight to receive and nice to know my team are thinking of me.

Another day feeling very nauseous and tired.  I tried to cut out all my medication today to see if it stopped me feeling sick and tired.  Made no difference (except in the pain in my leg) am back on meds but trying to work out which one is making me feel so bad so I can ease off that particular drug.

Not done much at all today except try and lie as still as possible and stare at the ceiling.

Had a lovely chat with George though.  I could hear Harrison in the background and wish I could give him a huge cuddle.

Feel I am getting worse not better.  I don't think I make a very 'patient' patient.

The Bluebird

Yesterday I spent the day feeling very sick and today I have been overwhelmingly drowsy.  I stayed in bed until gone 10am but when I came downstairs I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

My hair was in desperate need of washing so I managed to lean over the kitchen sink while my mum helped me to shampoo and condition it.  Just trying to stand over the sink was quite exhausting but it is lovely to have clean hair again.

When I was younger I watched a film that I really enjoyed but I have never seen it again since and did not know what it was called.  Yesterday I stumbled across a reference to the film and today I was able to find the entire film on YouTube in ten different parts.

It is a 1940's film called the Bluebird starring Shirley Temple.  I have enjoyed watching it today.  It is a very sweet film with the same sentiments as other old favourites such as Pollyanna, Anne of Green Gables and the like.

Other than that I have been too tired to read or to try crochet yet.  Thought I would be feeling more alert and energetic by now.

My appetite hasn't returned yet either, although that's no bad thing.  I am able to eat but am not feeling hungry.  In fact I have to eat to stop myself feeling nauseous.

I feel like I should have been able to be a lot more productive but I guess it has only been three days since the operation.

Too tired to write anymore right now.  Might just close my eyes for a few minutes . . .

4000 Page views and post-op recovery

Well that was a nice surprise.  I had known for a while that this blog was approaching 4000 page views and I turned my laptop on today to find it was on 4000 page views exactly.

The last couple of days have been a bit of a blur.

As you know I went into hospital on Thursday morning for my knee operation. Arrived at 7.30am and was taken through to my room which was huge and with an en suite bathroom.  Lovely flat screen television and just really nicely decorated.  Just like a hotel really with a little bag of toiletries in the bathroom and glass bottles of water on the bed tray.

I was told I was due to go down for my operation at 9am which was great news for me.  I had joked with my best friend George that I wasn't keen on being first as I quite liked the idea that the surgeon would have had chance to warm up on someone else but I didn't fancy being third or fourth as I knew I would just be getting anxious waiting.  So to be second on the list suited me just fine.  David and I had chance to get comfortable and my mum joined me just before 9am so David could return home to get back to his work.

While we were waiting the nurse put a very sexy looking compression bandage on my other leg and the surgeon came and drew a big black arrow to indicate which leg they were supposed to operate on.  To be honest they are both as bad as each other so it wouldn't have been the end of the world if he had operated on the wrong leg as they both need doing eventually!

I had been a little nervous about being put to sleep as sometimes when I am falling asleep or waking up I try and move but my body doesn't react.  My head is screaming out to me to move and my limbs just stay dead to the world.  Eventually after what seems like an age I manage to finally stir but by that time my heart is racing and I have wound myself into a right panic.  So in my head I was thinking that being put under anaesthetic might feel somewhat the same and I really wasn't looking forward to it.  However, when it came to it the anaesthetist put a cannula in the back on my left hand and told me he was going to give me some pain killers that would make me feel a bit like I had had a few drinks on Christmas day.  All of a sudden I felt very light headed and whoozy and told him so.  The anaesthetist replied 'well yes that will be the painkillers' and I said 'but how?  You haven't connected anything to me yet.  How did the painkillers get in me?' He then explained they were already in the cannula in the back of my hand.  Didn't I feel stupid!

Anyway after a couple of minutes he said he was going to top up the painkillers but I don't remember him doing anything and indeed I don't remember anything else until I woke up on the recovery ward.

I had expected him to tell me he was going to put me to sleep and to get me to count up to ten or backwards from ten but there was none of that I was just gone.  I was quite relieved really as I didn't have chance to realise I was being put to sleep let alone get anxious about it.

When I woke I was on a large ward but all the other beds were empty, the physio came and put a leg brace on me.  The anaesthetist was sat next to me and I would feel pain in my leg and my throat felt sore from where I had had a tube down it during the operation.  He tried pumping me full of drugs to get the pain under control but nothing seemed to work.  After an hour and a half he tried something that slightly took the edge off the pain so I could be wheeled back to my room.  I think my mum had been worried about why I had been so long as the operation was only supposed to take an hour and I was away ages.

Back in the room the nursing staff kept trying different drugs including oral morphine but nothing touched the pain.  I started to feel really sick probably as a result of all the drugs and I was unable to go back to sleep because of the pain even though I felt overwhelmingly tired. 

I was supposed to be discharged four hours after the operation but the physiotherapist kept coming to the room, taking one look at me and saying he would come back a little later.

Finally at 4.30pm I thought they just weren't going to find a painkiller to remove the pain and I should really try and just get out of bed and let the physio show me how to use the crutches.  He helped me up but I only managed a few paces before I felt like I was going to be violently sick.  He insisted I returned to bed and then told me there was no way I was going to make it home that day because he would be unable to sign me off as fit to leave.

In a way I was quite relieved as the thought of having to get in the car and then get up the stairs back at home was simply beyond me.  Also it is so much easier being in a hospital bed that you can raise and lower to get in and out and then raise and lower the back to sit up.

Finally that evening after nine hours of trying they managed to find a combination of painkillers that actually took most of the pain away.  David had returned to be with me by this point and my mum had gone home to look after the boys.

David stayed with me for a couple of hours and after he left I thought I would finally be able to sleep but I just couldn't get comfortable and then it was either really noisy or one of the nurses would come in and leave the light on or the door open so I was wide awake all night.  However, once the pain was gone I was able to get myself out of bed and walk on crutches to the bathroom so I felt ever so proud of myself.

Friday morning before my mum came back to the hospital the physio returned and we did a bit of walking and he got me walking up and down a few stairs.  He showed me how to passively exercise my knee by lifting it with my hands but told me I am not to try and lift my leg using my thigh muscles in case I dislodge the screws in my leg.

David came to pick me up about 12.30pm but they took ages to get me ready.  I had to have the dressing on my leg replaced which wasn't much fun as the nurse was an hour and a half late giving me my medication and then she was pressing on the wound which was agony.  I managed to get dressed and she gave me my medication to take home but then realised I was supposed to have an x-ray before discharge so I had to go and have that.

Poor David was waiting to return to work and ended up waiting three hours for me to leave hospital.

In the end I decided to go home to my mum's so David could just get back to work and not have to worry about me.

It was nice to see the boys.  Nat had made me a card at pre-school.

So I am out of hospital.  My day seems to revolve around when my next lot of medication is due and I am still very tired from missing so much sleep but the pain is bearable and the nausea only intermittent.

I have made myself a long list of useful and enjoyable things to do while I am immobile so hopefully will feel up to working my way through it soon.  I seem to keep losing my words and my brain isn't working properly yet so not sure I should get the crochet out just yet but it's nice to be back on my blog!

The eve of my knee operation

Finally at last I am about to have my long-awaited knee operation.

I go into hospital tomorrow morning for an arthroscopy to tidy up damage behind my knee cap and then the surgeon will tilt my knee cap and undertake a tibial tubercle osteomy to address my kneecap tracking.  Basically they are going to detach my kneecap, surgically fracture my tibia then they screw the bone in its new place.  I will have to wear a brace for two to six weeks until the bone has healed and will be on crutches for a while.

It is quite daunting knowing that I will be out of action for a while and I am not sure when I will be able to return to work as there are several small sets of steps to negotiate - plus I need to be able to drive but I have a laptop and can connect to our systems from home so I should be able to do some work from home as soon as I feel well enough.

I am worried about my mobility post-knee op due to my back.  MRI scans have just revealed that I have multi level disc degeneration in my spine - three discs are protruding and one has completely slipped and is crushing a nerve which is what is causing the pain in my pelvis and the sciatica down my right leg. It is what is causing the pain in my lower back too.  I am waiting to be referred to a spinal surgeon to see if they can do spinal surgery to cut away the disc and to relieve the pressure on my nerve.  Deep joy!  I haven't told my boss about that one yet!

So not sure how I will be able to sleep on my back or how I will manage to get up and down stairs but I am hoping that being off my feet for a couple of weeks will be a great opportunity to catch up on some reading, crochet and maybe some blogging??

Anyway best get to sleep as I have to get up at 5.15am to drink 2 pints of water before I go in!

Thanks to all the wonderful friends who are praying for me and who are arranging the meal rota for us over the next few days x

Beautiful baby news

So excited this week to have news that two of my friends have had beautiful baby boys added to their families.

Polly and Mark have become parents to little Ben who was born on Boxing Day and who looks just adorable.

George and Joe had baby Harrison Joseph born 14 January 2014 weighing 10 lbs 2 oz (big boy).

Really delighted for my friends and so excited for them both.

Ooh lovely babies!!  Can't wait to meet the little fellows.

Goodbye 2013 - Hello 2014

Well we have enjoyed another Christmas and have seen in the New Year.

Christmas was lovely for us this year.  I always like to get the decorations up early - at the beginning of December but I don't know why it seems to take three times as long to take them down and put them away again.  Nothing ever seems to fit easily back into the box it came out of so I have only half done the job.  All the beautiful baubles off the tree have been lovingly wrapped in tissue paper.  I have removed the lights and tinsel and packed away the Christmas wreath and most of the Christmas ornaments.  The reindeer and sleigh lights are waiting for David to get home as try as I might I just could not dismantle them or squeeze them back into their box properly.

Still have all the Christmas cards to take down and my new nativity set to put away.  I hate the way the house looks so empty and bare once all the decorations are removed.

Oh just noticed another couple of decorations (not exactly small ones either).  Funny isn't it how you keep thinking you have put everything away and then you stumble across something else.

Some of the decorations we had out this year were really past their best and looking quite tired. A Musical Santa with batteries that have leaked, a little robin who has fallen on his perch in his a snow-globe etc. so I decided to have a little bit of a cull.  Doesn't hurt to make some room for any new decorations I might stumble across and be unable to resist.

Anyway Nat is at a wonderful age now where we can make decorations together.  He was really helpful taking the baubles off the tree while I wrapped them.

The wind is howling outside and the rain keeps falling in torrential showers.  We have weather warnings in place for more winds, rain and flooding.  It is nice to be wrapped up warm inside but if it was a brighter- drier day it would be nice to get out for some fresh air.

Am feeling quite lethargic today - lots to do but not much energy to do it.  You know when you get to that level of tiredness that you feel slightly drugged.  That's how I am feeling!
My back has been playing me up recently so I have not slept as well as I would like.

Nat has lots of new games and puzzles so I think it is time for a mug of coffee and playtime with my little boy!!