Teenage Initiation Challenge 1

I recently read a newspaper article by a journalist whoose family had just watched a film about a young tribal boy who was sent off into the wilderness to hunt and survive by himself before returning to his tribe for his initiation ceremony to mark his 'becoming a man'.  As a result of the film, the journalist came up with a challenge plan for her thirteen year old son - coming up with thirteen activities to help him gain some independence and prove his growing maturity.

I thought it was a really excellent idea and started to think about how I could adapt the concept for my thirteen year old son Sebastian.

When I first went to University I was horrified by the number of young people who were sent away from home, by their parents, with little idea of how to fend for themselves - the worst case being one of my female housemates who had never even made a cup of tea for herself.

It wasn't long before I soon found myself cooking meals for, cleaning up after and reparing clothes for a houseful of hopeless boys and giving basic cooking and baking lessons to my close friend Sarah.

I have therefore always been determined that, by the time they choose to leave home, my kids should be able to look after themselves and have a few life skills.

I have therefore started to plan a few challenges for Seb to help him learn a few essential skills, take on a little responsibility and hopefully have a bit of fun and freedom.

The first challenge I came up with was for Sebastian to plan the weekly menu and decide what meals we are going to eat.  He also has to be responsible for cooking each meal so they had to be options that he  was capable of producing.

Seb eagerly sat down and wrote out his weekly meal plan.

He became slightly despondent at the point of having to sit down and write the weekly shopping list.
It was quite a good eye opener for him to realise how long this activity takes me each week.  He did very well thinking about what type of things we might need to buy and I was particularly impressed that he remembered nappies and baby wipes for his little brother.

With his shopping list written out Seb then had to write a second list to put the items into a more logical "grocery isle order" to help him when he did the shop.

The plan was for me to estimate how much I thought the shop might cost, to take out that amount of cash from the cash machine and then hand it over to Seb so he could go and do the shop by himself, finding and selecting items, putting them on the cash till belt, packing them and then paying - all by himself.  But, just incase, I said I would sit in the coffee shop nearby and would be on-call by mobile phone if he got into any difficulty.

I handed over £100 of cash to Seb hoping desperately that he would not lose it or drop it out of his pocket.

Nat had fallen asleep so I popped him into his pushchair and wheeled him into the coffee shop.  I bought myself a large black coffee and sat on one of the comfy sofas and took out a new book I have borrowed from a friend called -The Hunger Games.

The book was really gripping and I was enjoying some uninterupted relaxation time but I checked my watch and realised Seb had been shopping for nearly an hour and a half and I had not yet heard from him.

I put my book away and walked through the Supermarket looking to see where Seb had got to.  I reached the other end of the store and had not see Seb so I wandered back checking up and down each aisle.  Again I could not seen Seb anywhere so I walked to the back of the store and did another trip to the end of the store and back. Still no sight of Seb.

At this point I started to panic a little and questioned what on earth I had been thinking to let my thirteen year old loose with a hundred quid and no supervision.

I approached the store security guard and asked him if he could see each of the aisle's from his TV screen because I could not find my son.

The guard suggested it would be easier to send out a tannoy announcement and he took me to the customer service desk.  I explained to the customer services assistant that my son was doing the grocery shopping but that I couldn't find him.

The assistant put a tannoy message out, mean-while the security guard asked me what Seb was wearing.  I knew he had blue shorts on but could not remember whether his T-shirt was blue or grey. Talk about incompetent parenting!!

Thankfully I suddenly glimpsed my boy pushing his trolley towards the customer service desk and I thanked the security guard and store assistant and rushed over to meet him.

Seb asked me if he had been taking too long and I shamefully explained that I had simply panicked because I could not find him.

Seb had nearly finished but had not been able to find Chives or Oxtail soup so I helped him to retrieve those last two items and then sent him off to the till.

I hovered nearby and kept an eye on Seb but tried to let him manage by himself.  I could see the till assistant giving me strange looks and wondering why I was letting my son deal with all the groceries by himself and why I was not making any effort to offer any help.

I endeavoured to look busy with Nathaniel who had by now woken up and wanted to get out of his pushchair.

Seb handed over some discount vouchers and got his money out of his wallet.

The store assistant and the guy in the queue behind Seb both gave bemused and puzzled looks as Seb pulled out a handful of twenties and handed the money over to the cashier while I just stood lamely by trying to look as if my son regularly paid for the grocery shopping for me.  I couldn't help wondering what they were imagining!!

Then it was back to the car to load up.  On the way home Seb tried to negotiate keeping the change .  . . .  no chance!!

Back home Seb unpacked all the shopping and put it away before starting to prepare this evening's dinner - cottage pie with a cheddar cheese crust with peas and carrots.

It was a yummy dinner and we all really enjoyed it.  By the time I thought to take a photo we had pretty much demolished the entire pie.

Even Nathaniel really enjoyed the dinner made by his big brother.

Seb put out some ice-cream for Nat and teased him by only putting the tinest scoop of icecream in Nat's bowl.  Much to his surprise Nat just gave him a big beam and said "thank you Seb" in a really cute way.  As a result, I think Seb ended up giving Nat the biggest bowl of icecream he has ever eaten.

I am very proud of my boy!